Gosh I've been spending my days drawing, experimenting with water colours which i failed terribly at when i try to blend colours hahhha but it is fun:D
Went to Kino today with CLARA! Got myself an really awesome book ^^ but the pain of spending the money hais.
Then we tried this Snoopy Cafe at Cineleisure which was not bad:D
Came home and just kind of slack and eat hahha
Hmmm Ohh yeah a random thought, i think i want to stop using the name 'Elaine' for now until i find a suitable name for professional use:D Don't get me wrong i grow to love my given name but still maybe an English name would be easier for some people... so yeahh...
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Flash backs
Hello:)
It's Tuesday .. And I keep thinking it's Wednesday For no reason.
Woke up really early too meet Bryan to head down to TP(yes yes again).
Went to Fruit Paradise for lunch and met Jo Anne:) Finally the 3 of us again haha:)
Went to walk around and sort of got my gift for this Sunday :) it's gonna be really exciting because I spent 3hours after dinner printing and decorating it:) I really hope he likes it even though my art sucks :/
Spent the rest of the day with ❤️
Jing wen is coming back this Thursday I CANT WAIT FOR OUR SHOPPING TRIP. plus I have so much to tell her :(( I don't know who will really understand my situation but I really hope that someone would get me out of this messy messy thoughts.
I know I'm not supposed to think back on the past and how it could have been better. Inevitably, my mind loves to replay those times. Unhappy times.
I really hope I sleep well tonight. I'm tired of dreaming about feelings. Those feelings I keep within me. Has to go. Somewhere. Like. Vamoosh.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
6/4/2014 - Sunday
Another Sunday went by just like that.
Had a pretty funny moment while attempting to teach the sec1s &3 Ceremony.
Nothing else interesting happened I guess..
Went for a super short run but couldn't complete the whole round because of stomach ache D:
But it's okay there's always a next time^^
Ohh and I really love Michelle Phan 's videos. Not only her make-up videos are good but her other little videos really motivate and made me feel a lot better as a person:) Like she said in one of her video, working on your self-esteem and confidence is like working out for muscles. You need to tell yourself everyday that " I'm Unique and I am Happy with who I am because this is who I am". (okay I kind of made that sentence up because I forgot her actual words) With that, your mind will slowly come to believe in your words because you've created a healthy mindset of yourself. Everything starts with you;)
Going to get my hair trimmed tomorrow aghhh I miss my red highlights!! Wonder if my mum will let me do it again XD
Had a pretty funny moment while attempting to teach the sec1s &3 Ceremony.
Nothing else interesting happened I guess..
Went for a super short run but couldn't complete the whole round because of stomach ache D:
But it's okay there's always a next time^^
Ohh and I really love Michelle Phan 's videos. Not only her make-up videos are good but her other little videos really motivate and made me feel a lot better as a person:) Like she said in one of her video, working on your self-esteem and confidence is like working out for muscles. You need to tell yourself everyday that " I'm Unique and I am Happy with who I am because this is who I am". (okay I kind of made that sentence up because I forgot her actual words) With that, your mind will slowly come to believe in your words because you've created a healthy mindset of yourself. Everything starts with you;)
Going to get my hair trimmed tomorrow aghhh I miss my red highlights!! Wonder if my mum will let me do it again XD
Thursday, April 3, 2014
"What if I don't want to have the prettiest eyes?"
There was once I heard from someone that "People with the prettiest eyes cried the most".
I think it's pretty true however I don't want to be someone who cry her life away.
I don't know what struck me 2 nights to cry so much again..
Oh wells:D
Shall update a little about what I did yesterday :D
Went ice skating with Ryan and Clara at JCube. I forgot how to skate... its been too long that my white skates feel as if its still new. Then we went to Ryan's house to watch Les Miserables, I really love the movie even though they say the play is better. The movie showed me how minor the current problems are and ya... Jason is right, the current generation are "strawberries" and we give up too easily.
I must find that drive to continue my fight to be ready for the service world.
One Thing I got from the movie is that How can people fall in love at first sight and fight to survive just for the person they barely know?
Then compare it to today, nobody is that faithful or truthful anymore. It takes 2 people on average of a few months to know and fall in love then their relationship lasts for only what, 1 year plus or even less?
Many will always say that we are too young to understand love, too young to commit in one. But what about those in the past? Are the current generation maturing too fast in the wrong area?
Then another question came, why are people so easily influenced by the social media?
Every time when teachers or discussion forums mention about Media influence, have they actually really talk about why would teenagers or people in general chose to be influenced by the social media?
Is it something they can actually avoid? Why am I saying all this is because I dislike the social media. It got me to feel very negative about my life, about what I see everyday or even what others have that I don't. It makes me feel discontented some times, some times it makes me feel as though life is so boring because of the routine that people keep complaining about and also the discontentment of others. Example Twitter, once you opened twitter, you see people ranting about their life, you see images / memes of people making school/ education sound so forceful and all. I don't even know if they actually want to learn and gain knowledge. All the like to as is " how is this useful and how will "2x+3y = Z " be applied in the future.
I was guilty of this thoughts too but now I see things differently and I do somewhat hope that people will not be too quick to complain and all..
Enough said about that I guess it is just nonsense after all.
Its raining now.. sucks to be stuck at home alone.
I think it's pretty true however I don't want to be someone who cry her life away.
I don't know what struck me 2 nights to cry so much again..
Oh wells:D
Shall update a little about what I did yesterday :D
Went ice skating with Ryan and Clara at JCube. I forgot how to skate... its been too long that my white skates feel as if its still new. Then we went to Ryan's house to watch Les Miserables, I really love the movie even though they say the play is better. The movie showed me how minor the current problems are and ya... Jason is right, the current generation are "strawberries" and we give up too easily.
I must find that drive to continue my fight to be ready for the service world.
One Thing I got from the movie is that How can people fall in love at first sight and fight to survive just for the person they barely know?
Then compare it to today, nobody is that faithful or truthful anymore. It takes 2 people on average of a few months to know and fall in love then their relationship lasts for only what, 1 year plus or even less?
Many will always say that we are too young to understand love, too young to commit in one. But what about those in the past? Are the current generation maturing too fast in the wrong area?
Then another question came, why are people so easily influenced by the social media?
Every time when teachers or discussion forums mention about Media influence, have they actually really talk about why would teenagers or people in general chose to be influenced by the social media?
Is it something they can actually avoid? Why am I saying all this is because I dislike the social media. It got me to feel very negative about my life, about what I see everyday or even what others have that I don't. It makes me feel discontented some times, some times it makes me feel as though life is so boring because of the routine that people keep complaining about and also the discontentment of others. Example Twitter, once you opened twitter, you see people ranting about their life, you see images / memes of people making school/ education sound so forceful and all. I don't even know if they actually want to learn and gain knowledge. All the like to as is " how is this useful and how will "2x+3y = Z " be applied in the future.
I was guilty of this thoughts too but now I see things differently and I do somewhat hope that people will not be too quick to complain and all..
Enough said about that I guess it is just nonsense after all.
Its raining now.. sucks to be stuck at home alone.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Nightz.... ZZZ
Shucks It's 0206 and I need to be up in 6 hours time to meet Jordan to go down to TP.
I. Just. Can't. Sleep.
Been flipping a lot on the bed and checking my phone so occasionally that I've decided to grab my laptop out to the living room to blog and play a little song before attempting to sleep again. HAIS WHY INSOMNIA ON SUCH NIGHTS.
It's so strange since I have been having easy sleep the last few nights. Are " back to school" thoughts really scaring me too much? Insomnia ah insomnia... what makes you find me again...
So... I've decided to convert my blog template back to the classic one where its simpler to change without all the codes #@%&%*
Gosh Im just so awake now that I seriously don't know what will get me to sleep :(
I. Just. Can't. Sleep.
Been flipping a lot on the bed and checking my phone so occasionally that I've decided to grab my laptop out to the living room to blog and play a little song before attempting to sleep again. HAIS WHY INSOMNIA ON SUCH NIGHTS.
It's so strange since I have been having easy sleep the last few nights. Are " back to school" thoughts really scaring me too much? Insomnia ah insomnia... what makes you find me again...
So... I've decided to convert my blog template back to the classic one where its simpler to change without all the codes #@%&%*
Gosh Im just so awake now that I seriously don't know what will get me to sleep :(
13th Blessed Month
Heys :D So It's the First of April ( APRIL FOOLS)
I didn't get fooled nor did I fool anyone this year. I think people in Singapore are just too busy to even bother about the day :( Pressurising society to live in.
So...I woke up at 11:15 and hesitated if I should get my lazy butt off the bed for a short swim. Im glad I did because the weather was a little sunny and the water was quite cold. I really enjoyed the lone time in the pool thinking of basically NOTHING while feeling the warm and cool water. teehee...Had Macaroni with sausage and mushroom cream for lunch and I went back to school to collect my School General Certificate ,SGC, along with my testimonial from Peirce today and I can finally say BYEBYE to that shitty place. I never need to step into Peirce again :D Happy Girl 96 .
Spent some lone time with my Boy because its our 13th month today and I cannot stress more on how lucky I am to have him. He knows me so well , especially when i'm stressed out he always makes me feel better <3
Love does wonders:D
Well I have District Camp Logs Comm. meeting tomorrow ( and I hope it turns out well because I am that lazy to bother) I don't even know why I signed up for that shit. My probable last few events before deciding to continue being so active. Hmm I need me time :(
Oh and after going back to Peirce today, I realised how people are so stagnant in their life like all they see and all they think about is the same thing over and over again. Are humans really that stagnant in Singapore? Or am I someone who really cannot stand old routine stuff?
Okay to admit, I hate routine stuff, like what my boy said " that's why you hate running rounds " hehhe. Glad to hear that from him, at least it keeps me pretty much like a Sagittarius even though I don't have the "happy-go-lucky" attitude much.
For these 2 weeks I am going to keep myself away from problems and others' problems:D
I don't care if you are going to have comments about me or judge the way I used to do things, haha im really sick of being around people :D
Oh and I am going to turn Andy down for the Social Night Crap. I'd very much not like to go with someone who thinks that lowly of me. Seriously? " She changes boyfriend every season" wow. I wonder how I lived through 13 months now eh.
I didn't get fooled nor did I fool anyone this year. I think people in Singapore are just too busy to even bother about the day :( Pressurising society to live in.
So...I woke up at 11:15 and hesitated if I should get my lazy butt off the bed for a short swim. Im glad I did because the weather was a little sunny and the water was quite cold. I really enjoyed the lone time in the pool thinking of basically NOTHING while feeling the warm and cool water. teehee...Had Macaroni with sausage and mushroom cream for lunch and I went back to school to collect my School General Certificate ,SGC, along with my testimonial from Peirce today and I can finally say BYEBYE to that shitty place. I never need to step into Peirce again :D Happy Girl 96 .
Spent some lone time with my Boy because its our 13th month today and I cannot stress more on how lucky I am to have him. He knows me so well , especially when i'm stressed out he always makes me feel better <3
Love does wonders:D
Well I have District Camp Logs Comm. meeting tomorrow ( and I hope it turns out well because I am that lazy to bother) I don't even know why I signed up for that shit. My probable last few events before deciding to continue being so active. Hmm I need me time :(
Oh and after going back to Peirce today, I realised how people are so stagnant in their life like all they see and all they think about is the same thing over and over again. Are humans really that stagnant in Singapore? Or am I someone who really cannot stand old routine stuff?
Okay to admit, I hate routine stuff, like what my boy said " that's why you hate running rounds " hehhe. Glad to hear that from him, at least it keeps me pretty much like a Sagittarius even though I don't have the "happy-go-lucky" attitude much.
For these 2 weeks I am going to keep myself away from problems and others' problems:D
I don't care if you are going to have comments about me or judge the way I used to do things, haha im really sick of being around people :D
Oh and I am going to turn Andy down for the Social Night Crap. I'd very much not like to go with someone who thinks that lowly of me. Seriously? " She changes boyfriend every season" wow. I wonder how I lived through 13 months now eh.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep Dreaming about the things that we could be...
Hellos:)
I've been quite addicted to this song( Counting Stars -OneRepublic) recently... Hmm... maybe because too much has been on my mind:)
I'm so thankful to God as He once again showed me through the people around me; that problems are just small stones and pebbles that trips you once in a while through your journey in life.
A little analogy hahah.
I had a really boring Monday D:
Made weird mistakes at Subway and ended up spending more money than I initially wanted to just for lunch. Went to JW's house to chill and have my lunch before she departs for Paris:) what a lucky girl to be able to go to Paris again hehhe.
Hmm... my parent will be going overseas tomorrow for a meeting and poor me will be left with the housework for the next few days but it's all right I guess since I have nothing to do till then.
I have been loaded with quite a few problems in scouts as well as the people around me. Like Oh-Im-So-Tired-Of-Their-Ridiculously-Nonsensical-fake-assumptions.
But again.... It's where I have to up my tolerance and mentality to face the dark and judgemental society in 2 weeks AKA School.
Im not very excited about starting my course in TP somehow... a dying passion for it D: I thought of using the next 2 weeks to pamper myself with me! Maybe going around Singapore to do what I want to do alone, spending time at the bookstore indulging myself in the serenity(not that Singapore really has a place for that but oh well!) Just having a little lone time to filter my mind off the negativity that has been clouding around me for weeks.
( Its like putting myself in a Cocoon. My friend came up with this weird term hahah )
So.. Monday is Over!
The next few days I have...
Tues1/4- Collection of SGC from Peirce
Weds2/4- DC-Logs team meeting
Thurs3/4- IceSkating and NCRS day
Friday4/4- Probably Ice cream or Town Day for myself (KINOKUNIYA DAY?!?!?!)
Sat5/4- Stay at home Day since my mum will be back
Sun6/4- Scouts.
I've been quite addicted to this song( Counting Stars -OneRepublic) recently... Hmm... maybe because too much has been on my mind:)
I'm so thankful to God as He once again showed me through the people around me; that problems are just small stones and pebbles that trips you once in a while through your journey in life.
A little analogy hahah.
I had a really boring Monday D:
Made weird mistakes at Subway and ended up spending more money than I initially wanted to just for lunch. Went to JW's house to chill and have my lunch before she departs for Paris:) what a lucky girl to be able to go to Paris again hehhe.
Hmm... my parent will be going overseas tomorrow for a meeting and poor me will be left with the housework for the next few days but it's all right I guess since I have nothing to do till then.
I have been loaded with quite a few problems in scouts as well as the people around me. Like Oh-Im-So-Tired-Of-Their-Ridiculously-Nonsensical-fake-assumptions.
But again.... It's where I have to up my tolerance and mentality to face the dark and judgemental society in 2 weeks AKA School.
Im not very excited about starting my course in TP somehow... a dying passion for it D: I thought of using the next 2 weeks to pamper myself with me! Maybe going around Singapore to do what I want to do alone, spending time at the bookstore indulging myself in the serenity(not that Singapore really has a place for that but oh well!) Just having a little lone time to filter my mind off the negativity that has been clouding around me for weeks.
( Its like putting myself in a Cocoon. My friend came up with this weird term hahah )
So.. Monday is Over!
The next few days I have...
Tues1/4- Collection of SGC from Peirce
Weds2/4- DC-Logs team meeting
Thurs3/4- IceSkating and NCRS day
Friday4/4- Probably Ice cream or Town Day for myself (KINOKUNIYA DAY?!?!?!)
Sat5/4- Stay at home Day since my mum will be back
Sun6/4- Scouts.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Some Words Are Best Left Unsaid?
Some thoughts I would like to express to 2 friends.
Hey Girl I know we have drifted a lot ever since last year. Though there were a few meet-up attempts, work recommendation etc... nothing did work out?
I still remember those days where we will go to each other for countless of problems, that I would go and visit you in Yishun if I am nearby.
Those days we have like impromptu meet ups and all.. I miss those days... I miss how we are the unseparatable best friends the one that knows me inside out, I don't consider knowing you that well anymore since I don't even know how you are really doing now.
Then,I remembered calling you a while back telling you about how lost I was and that I actually considered dropping out of school. You said you would come to see me after my school but you didn't...
IDK to be disappointed or not well like I always tell myself , " Its okay she has her friends and her friends have been there more than I do. Maybe Im not that important anymore".
I hinted. I tried. I failed. Now, I really don't know if I should be giving up. You wouldn't reply I know..
On your birthday I was still in YJC, I thought of surprising you with a little gift at your door step but ya I rmbed that you went for a chalet...
Time flies and situation change. I didn't expect our friendship to change.
A second thought to my bff.......f(x)
hey best friend :) I really don't know what to say.
I just have this thought that we aren't as close as we used to be anymore. We don't spazz about our common interest, we no longer call or hold long conversations like most of the time, we are just trying to sustain a conversation which somehow doesn't work out anymore.
I know I have neglected you a lot since holiday. All the empty promises and all the empty failed dates.
Some times I wish I have the capability to do everything I want to do too...
But Im just bad at keeping friendships aren't I?
Hais, no matter how many "I miss yous" I have said, or hints that I've dropped I hope you know that im sorry for whatever I have done. especially neglecting you..
I miss our Pool/Ice creams/ Mahjong/ Skating / FOOD FIRES/ Calls/Texts/ Walking the whole sahara Himalayans to your house. STRAWBEERRY CAKES HUSTLES....
I miss you so much I miss the memories so much.
If I could I would like to ask for my holiday back. I would have done so much more...
Hey Girl I know we have drifted a lot ever since last year. Though there were a few meet-up attempts, work recommendation etc... nothing did work out?
I still remember those days where we will go to each other for countless of problems, that I would go and visit you in Yishun if I am nearby.
Those days we have like impromptu meet ups and all.. I miss those days... I miss how we are the unseparatable best friends the one that knows me inside out, I don't consider knowing you that well anymore since I don't even know how you are really doing now.
Then,I remembered calling you a while back telling you about how lost I was and that I actually considered dropping out of school. You said you would come to see me after my school but you didn't...
IDK to be disappointed or not well like I always tell myself , " Its okay she has her friends and her friends have been there more than I do. Maybe Im not that important anymore".
I hinted. I tried. I failed. Now, I really don't know if I should be giving up. You wouldn't reply I know..
On your birthday I was still in YJC, I thought of surprising you with a little gift at your door step but ya I rmbed that you went for a chalet...
Time flies and situation change. I didn't expect our friendship to change.
A second thought to my bff.......f(x)
hey best friend :) I really don't know what to say.
I just have this thought that we aren't as close as we used to be anymore. We don't spazz about our common interest, we no longer call or hold long conversations like most of the time, we are just trying to sustain a conversation which somehow doesn't work out anymore.
I know I have neglected you a lot since holiday. All the empty promises and all the empty failed dates.
Some times I wish I have the capability to do everything I want to do too...
But Im just bad at keeping friendships aren't I?
Hais, no matter how many "I miss yous" I have said, or hints that I've dropped I hope you know that im sorry for whatever I have done. especially neglecting you..
I miss our Pool/Ice creams/ Mahjong/ Skating / FOOD FIRES/ Calls/Texts/ Walking the whole sahara Himalayans to your house. STRAWBEERRY CAKES HUSTLES....
I miss you so much I miss the memories so much.
If I could I would like to ask for my holiday back. I would have done so much more...
30/March
2 More Days :)
Hello ! Here to update a little about my weekends:)
Saturday
Spent my afternoon having tea with KerXin at TCC:) Happy that she manage to get a place in SP Business Administration and not to be tortured in JC You go Girl!
Then shortly after that I went to join the scouts to celebrate Earth Hour at Marina Floating platform.
Personally I don't spazz about Andrew Garfield ( IDEK if I got his name right) and Emma Stone. So... it was really boring for me.
Ended the day with dinner and ice cream :)
Today, I went for YZPS Alumni Lunch at Chinatown with Esther, Oliver, MeiQi and CE.
It was good Chinese food but the lunch took like 3 hours!?!?! So came home late, full and tired. But I had a great day though ^^
Irresponsible bunch. Just wait till we work out a way to bring the discipline back up. I will not give in to anyone's attitude.
Hello ! Here to update a little about my weekends:)
Saturday
Spent my afternoon having tea with KerXin at TCC:) Happy that she manage to get a place in SP Business Administration and not to be tortured in JC You go Girl!
Then shortly after that I went to join the scouts to celebrate Earth Hour at Marina Floating platform.
Personally I don't spazz about Andrew Garfield ( IDEK if I got his name right) and Emma Stone. So... it was really boring for me.
Ended the day with dinner and ice cream :)
Today, I went for YZPS Alumni Lunch at Chinatown with Esther, Oliver, MeiQi and CE.
It was good Chinese food but the lunch took like 3 hours!?!?! So came home late, full and tired. But I had a great day though ^^
Irresponsible bunch. Just wait till we work out a way to bring the discipline back up. I will not give in to anyone's attitude.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Last Decision... No regrets
Hey Guys! Life has been pretty crazy to me... because it spoilt me with choices(like xuan said... )
Hmmm I initially accepted RP because I thought the TP will never accept me again and well... I was so wrong! After I made my enrolment fee and all TP decided to accept me :/ TBH I was really confused. Should I accept TP? Or should I try to have a new life in RP.
Starting a new in a new school isn't easy :( now I really wonder how my cousins keep up with the change in schools from year to year because my aunt loves to change their school .-.
After a long talk with Jerrom and well those that are close to me, I realise that if I really don't want TP I would have just rejected it on the spot. But seems like I still bother to consider, which means TP has never been something I loathed with all my heart. Oh well, to choose between a recognisable diploma or a some what familiar environment...
Hais... my Final Final Decision is TP uh..
Another thing is that I feel really sad to leave YJ.
I have made really good friends there like my CTG 126, some ODAC girls...
I really cannot bear to leave the Peirceans, my CTG, and some really important people behind in YJ.
Hais I really don't know if I am ever ever going to make new , genuine friends in TP Since it is so filled with....
Nvm about that , Updates of today!
Went to YJ in the morning to complete my withdrawal:)
Then came home...
And head out again to TP to collect my enrolment package and complete the online enrolment form ;P
oh well I hope to finish doing all of that by tomorrow so that I wont miss the deadline.
I am so not excited for school to start.
For the next 2 weeks... I hope to take a really long break to clear my mind :) and also to be mentally stronger so that I will stand firmer on myself and not get irritated or swayed easily by others' opinions.
Hmmm I initially accepted RP because I thought the TP will never accept me again and well... I was so wrong! After I made my enrolment fee and all TP decided to accept me :/ TBH I was really confused. Should I accept TP? Or should I try to have a new life in RP.
Starting a new in a new school isn't easy :( now I really wonder how my cousins keep up with the change in schools from year to year because my aunt loves to change their school .-.
After a long talk with Jerrom and well those that are close to me, I realise that if I really don't want TP I would have just rejected it on the spot. But seems like I still bother to consider, which means TP has never been something I loathed with all my heart. Oh well, to choose between a recognisable diploma or a some what familiar environment...
Hais... my Final Final Decision is TP uh..
Another thing is that I feel really sad to leave YJ.
I have made really good friends there like my CTG 126, some ODAC girls...
I really cannot bear to leave the Peirceans, my CTG, and some really important people behind in YJ.
Hais I really don't know if I am ever ever going to make new , genuine friends in TP Since it is so filled with....
Nvm about that , Updates of today!
Went to YJ in the morning to complete my withdrawal:)
Then came home...
And head out again to TP to collect my enrolment package and complete the online enrolment form ;P
oh well I hope to finish doing all of that by tomorrow so that I wont miss the deadline.
I am so not excited for school to start.
For the next 2 weeks... I hope to take a really long break to clear my mind :) and also to be mentally stronger so that I will stand firmer on myself and not get irritated or swayed easily by others' opinions.
Friday, March 21, 2014
It Goes On :D
Heyy!
Yes i realised that i have not been updating at all... yes it is because i have been busy with my indecisiveness.
So Im sure most people have been getting weird news about me and my school choices... I shall clarify every singly thing here ( not like anyone reads this so ya is okay)
Last year before O levels, i have been successfully accepted to Temasek Poly Under HTM course through the DPA.
I was a happy kid like yay thats it! i got what i wanted!!
So i started my DPA program on 3rd or was it 4th Feb, for 2 weeks and i absolutely hated my time there. I begin to dislike TP because of the environment, i never feel like " its my school " kinda feel. Everything there seems really fake and 'Atas'. If you are not 'Atas' You're not part of TP.
So after going through countless of emotional nights I decided to just appeal to JC, where I will meet genuine people and buy some time for myself to re-think if I am suited for HTM.
Thanks to my "Average" O level result,I got accepted immediately to YJC.
TO BE HONEST, I love the people I meet in YJ. My CTG is full of AWESOME bunch of fun & unique individuals, I love my Subject Combination, I love the tutorials and lectures( most of the time) and the breaks spent with my CTG. I got accepted to ODAC( Outdoor Adventure Club) CCA as well! Life is exciting here but... through the past 1 month I have also realised that 'A' Level is not what I am ultimately going for and that the local university doesn't offer what I want. Not quite what I want.
Sooooooooooooooo, I am back to the Emo-Square1, where I feel so uncertain and blamed myself for not making right decisions, being impulsive and all..
But after talking to VP- Mr Hoe, my CT, Mrs Aw Yeong and of course my friends, I realised that "hey I should be going after what I want and not waste time in JC learning things that are irrelevant and stressing myself out so much with the DW, PW, and the far fetch- PROMOS"
Also that I dont have the confidence to pass Promos... hahh risk retaining.
After all of that, my final decision was to mass appeal; to SP, RP and ironically back to TP.
( ikr why did i bother to try Tp again when it SUCKS?)
I know that my heart is 50-50 for TP, was never at SP.... I accepted RP.
Then people will say....
" RP is called the WEST ITE WHY ?"
"You have good L1r4 & R5 WHY NOT STAY IN JC"
"TRY NP! ( err soorry they dont have what i want)"
"Dont Go RP LAH"
And the List goes on..........
HERE I WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY,
RP isn't a West ITE , in fact NONE of the Polys are.
Different Poly have their own STRENGTH.
I believe that RP has its own strength, yes its different it doesnt have lectures and tutorials [ i had enough of those in JC TBH HAHA]
But it doesnt mean that its bad ;)
My final decision : 3 years in RP - To Make It.
And of course... To not let my mentor down =)
Yes i realised that i have not been updating at all... yes it is because i have been busy with my indecisiveness.
So Im sure most people have been getting weird news about me and my school choices... I shall clarify every singly thing here ( not like anyone reads this so ya is okay)
Last year before O levels, i have been successfully accepted to Temasek Poly Under HTM course through the DPA.
I was a happy kid like yay thats it! i got what i wanted!!
So i started my DPA program on 3rd or was it 4th Feb, for 2 weeks and i absolutely hated my time there. I begin to dislike TP because of the environment, i never feel like " its my school " kinda feel. Everything there seems really fake and 'Atas'. If you are not 'Atas' You're not part of TP.
So after going through countless of emotional nights I decided to just appeal to JC, where I will meet genuine people and buy some time for myself to re-think if I am suited for HTM.
Thanks to my "Average" O level result,I got accepted immediately to YJC.
TO BE HONEST, I love the people I meet in YJ. My CTG is full of AWESOME bunch of fun & unique individuals, I love my Subject Combination, I love the tutorials and lectures( most of the time) and the breaks spent with my CTG. I got accepted to ODAC( Outdoor Adventure Club) CCA as well! Life is exciting here but... through the past 1 month I have also realised that 'A' Level is not what I am ultimately going for and that the local university doesn't offer what I want. Not quite what I want.
Sooooooooooooooo, I am back to the Emo-Square1, where I feel so uncertain and blamed myself for not making right decisions, being impulsive and all..
But after talking to VP- Mr Hoe, my CT, Mrs Aw Yeong and of course my friends, I realised that "hey I should be going after what I want and not waste time in JC learning things that are irrelevant and stressing myself out so much with the DW, PW, and the far fetch- PROMOS"
Also that I dont have the confidence to pass Promos... hahh risk retaining.
After all of that, my final decision was to mass appeal; to SP, RP and ironically back to TP.
( ikr why did i bother to try Tp again when it SUCKS?)
I know that my heart is 50-50 for TP, was never at SP.... I accepted RP.
Then people will say....
" RP is called the WEST ITE WHY ?"
"You have good L1r4 & R5 WHY NOT STAY IN JC"
"TRY NP! ( err soorry they dont have what i want)"
"Dont Go RP LAH"
And the List goes on..........
HERE I WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY,
RP isn't a West ITE , in fact NONE of the Polys are.
Different Poly have their own STRENGTH.
I believe that RP has its own strength, yes its different it doesnt have lectures and tutorials [ i had enough of those in JC TBH HAHA]
But it doesnt mean that its bad ;)
My final decision : 3 years in RP - To Make It.
And of course... To not let my mentor down =)
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Inner demon
I am afraid of what the future holds,
Im not sure how to embrace the present and not fearing what's installed in the future.
Too many stories of fake friends,betrayals,projects, school, GPA , ... all the pressure competing against dreams.
Is this what i really want?
Is this path the right path to get to where i want to?
Thoughts of friends going totally different path scares me.
It's like a repeat of my first day at school in Peirce.
Dayume i haboured too many negativity towards it.
Now im stuck in between trying to let go of my fears and being more positive towards school.
What is your plan for me God? Why am i turning round and round in a maze?
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Life is a Troll...
So it's Sunday! Had my usual routine of going down for full day lion dance practice.
Managed to discuss most of the investiture stuff now I'm left with just the proposal and emcee speech.
But it wasn't an all perfect / fun / meaningful day because i didnt do anythingXD. I have come to the conclusion that if they want her to do it then let it be, because it just doesn't work that way ;) why take the initiative when others do not have the intention? I totally shouldnt be thinking this way because it is wrong but, whatever, i do not mind taking a step back :D
The worst part of today was when we were actually talking about poly courses and stuff. Didnt know that Peizhen took TRM in NP :D Luckily i didnt have the intention of going ngee ann just because the school seems to be better than all other schools. Haha just not in the area that i want to voyage towards.
I would love to clarify the misconception that people have.
NP isnt best at every School.
If you are interested in Tourism, NP isnt the school, dont choose a school just because they have a reputation. They may not be specialised enough in certain areas.
To People Who Questioned Me For Taking Hospitality,
YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO,
Because you have never seen me in service, so STFU :)
So it's Sunday! Had my usual routine of going down for full day lion dance practice.
Managed to discuss most of the investiture stuff now I'm left with just the proposal and emcee speech.
But it wasn't an all perfect / fun / meaningful day because i didnt do anythingXD. I have come to the conclusion that if they want her to do it then let it be, because it just doesn't work that way ;) why take the initiative when others do not have the intention? I totally shouldnt be thinking this way because it is wrong but, whatever, i do not mind taking a step back :D
The worst part of today was when we were actually talking about poly courses and stuff. Didnt know that Peizhen took TRM in NP :D Luckily i didnt have the intention of going ngee ann just because the school seems to be better than all other schools. Haha just not in the area that i want to voyage towards.
I would love to clarify the misconception that people have.
NP isnt best at every School.
If you are interested in Tourism, NP isnt the school, dont choose a school just because they have a reputation. They may not be specialised enough in certain areas.
To People Who Questioned Me For Taking Hospitality,
YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO,
Because you have never seen me in service, so STFU :)
Saturday, January 18, 2014
18//1/2014
New Year New Life New Address...
Let me get this year's first post up with a really good news
I am a Fourteen Pointer for O level and scored
2A1s of which one of it is GEOGRAPHY. My two years worth of not sleeping/mugging 24/7 and stressing out for geog test or exam has been totally WORTH IT. For my fellow Pure Geographers, WE DID IT! 57% distinction and i think almost 100 % passes :) Best Performing pure humanities! Shall we get our prata soon?
But of course I thank God for the strength He had given me through Os and many many many others who have been there for me :D
But I did face a little regrets here and there, one good regret is that my Direct Poly Admission was Successful So... I have to start school in Feb:(
I could have been like any other students who chooses a polytechnic and start school in April :/ I have to get over that sad fact somehow, like isn't this what i wanted? Get the DPA and Go into it with a good score as well so that people wouldn't look at me and say " hey she DPA into the course and not because she can make it ". To these people, Hiii i have proven you guys wrong and that i can actually go into a JC;D
Speaking about going to JC i do regret not being able to participate in the JAE and choose JC as one of my preferred route of education. Oh well ;X
Ahh I have lion dance practice tomorrow and i DREAD it. I simply dislike going there to get corrected again and again, it's not as if i am not trying hard enough. I have been trying hard and constantly pushing myself to do it despite how painful it was [ when i pulled my hamstrings] and when i barely recover from the previous training. Don't get me wrong i do not want to give up but i am just sick of getting put down that way. Yes i will make sure that i show more effort than people who doesnt even though they're much better than me. Just because i didnt have the time to train earlier doesnt mean i do not want to. If i am not interested in performing the 3 lions, then please stop giving me those eyes as though i did not bother to remember the steps. Hi , I dont because i dont even bother anymore. If i am set to get something done, i will. It is just that this training is pissing me off. I would very much be glad to skip lion dance and go for my own exercise. It beats sitting around having people to "fuck you up" when they themselves do not bother to train. How is it that i am not doing any better? Hah, i have been like learning different things every year and nope i wasnt given a chance to practice them well. If i could i would very much like to fine tune my flaws before advancing. Sorry i forgot you guys only know how to see people with potential. Sorry uh, lion dance isnt my forte.
Actually after going through secondary school, i still couldnt find what i am good at?
Academics? Fitness? Leadership?
Hais, Master of All is a Master of None.(okay i forgot the actual phrase)
Let me get this year's first post up with a really good news
I am a Fourteen Pointer for O level and scored
2A1s of which one of it is GEOGRAPHY. My two years worth of not sleeping/mugging 24/7 and stressing out for geog test or exam has been totally WORTH IT. For my fellow Pure Geographers, WE DID IT! 57% distinction and i think almost 100 % passes :) Best Performing pure humanities! Shall we get our prata soon?
But of course I thank God for the strength He had given me through Os and many many many others who have been there for me :D
But I did face a little regrets here and there, one good regret is that my Direct Poly Admission was Successful So... I have to start school in Feb:(
I could have been like any other students who chooses a polytechnic and start school in April :/ I have to get over that sad fact somehow, like isn't this what i wanted? Get the DPA and Go into it with a good score as well so that people wouldn't look at me and say " hey she DPA into the course and not because she can make it ". To these people, Hiii i have proven you guys wrong and that i can actually go into a JC;D
Speaking about going to JC i do regret not being able to participate in the JAE and choose JC as one of my preferred route of education. Oh well ;X
Ahh I have lion dance practice tomorrow and i DREAD it. I simply dislike going there to get corrected again and again, it's not as if i am not trying hard enough. I have been trying hard and constantly pushing myself to do it despite how painful it was [ when i pulled my hamstrings] and when i barely recover from the previous training. Don't get me wrong i do not want to give up but i am just sick of getting put down that way. Yes i will make sure that i show more effort than people who doesnt even though they're much better than me. Just because i didnt have the time to train earlier doesnt mean i do not want to. If i am not interested in performing the 3 lions, then please stop giving me those eyes as though i did not bother to remember the steps. Hi , I dont because i dont even bother anymore. If i am set to get something done, i will. It is just that this training is pissing me off. I would very much be glad to skip lion dance and go for my own exercise. It beats sitting around having people to "fuck you up" when they themselves do not bother to train. How is it that i am not doing any better? Hah, i have been like learning different things every year and nope i wasnt given a chance to practice them well. If i could i would very much like to fine tune my flaws before advancing. Sorry i forgot you guys only know how to see people with potential. Sorry uh, lion dance isnt my forte.
Actually after going through secondary school, i still couldnt find what i am good at?
Academics? Fitness? Leadership?
Hais, Master of All is a Master of None.(okay i forgot the actual phrase)
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